Tuesday, June 1, 2010

The Cellar Door

The Cellar Door Review


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A low-budget serial killer flick that focus's on the relationship between captor & captured instead of torture.
Almost the entire movie takes place in Captain Psycho's basement,
so there isn't much in the way of scenery, just a cage.
But it's a nice cage.
He "got an A in shop class".
A cage where he keeps women.
Well one woman at a time, till they die, or try to escape.
And during their luxurious stay he collectss pieces of them.
(You don't want to know what that means, but it's not what you think)
The movie starts off as he loses his last venture,
and continues as he finds, stalks, and captures a new obsession (all of this is in the first 5 -10 minutes)
The rest of the movie plays out like a less outlandish, infinitely better version of Captivity,
No bizarre torture scenes, no high tech surveillance equipment, or twist endings you could see a mile off shore.
Just a psycho, an altar, a beautiful woman, and a cage.
Not a terrible amount of gore.
There's enough though to keep a gorehound's appetite sated, but not enough to be considered overly gory.
Like another reviewer here stated; the creator of this flick is someone who deserves a bigger budget to work with.
There is a very minimalist approach to this story, but it's one that works.
This movie makes a loaf out of a slice of bread.
In both the positive (budget) and negative (plot) sense.
At the very least it's worth a rental.
A purchase if you like torture flicks.

MORAL OF THE STORY:
If you love something.... lock it your basement.
If it stays it'll love you forever,
If it dies it was never meant to be.

ALSO RECOMMENDED:
Broken, Captivity, Gag, Schramm, Otis, Maniac, Live Feed, Hostel, Turistas, Saw 1-5, Borderland, Salo, Martyrs,
Last House on the Left, Seed, Family, Frailty, Bloodsucking Freaks, Strangeland, Snuff 102, P2, May, Roman,

The Cellar Door Feature

  • The girl next door, having coffee, lunch with a friend, shopping, unaware she is becoming an obsession. She has been chosen. A young woman awakes to find herself imprisoned in a serial killer s basement. She is not the first to be entrapped in this diabolical torture chamber. She is not the first to captivate his perverse affection, Herman has been searching for the perfect girl, but all he s c
Herman has been searching for the perfect girl, but all he s collected are pieces a chunk of hair; a severed finger; a jar of blood until the alluring and beautiful Rudy. Refusing to play along in his twisted game, she is imprisoned in a wooden cage with only her wits against his savage murderous insanity. Will she win the desperate, hallucinatory game of cat and mouse and escape through the Cellar Door, or die trying?


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Customer Reviews

She's In a Crate, and He's Annoying Her Badly - Zephyr - unemployment line
And that's about the extent of it. It was not pulse-pounding, riveting, or terrifying in any way, except that I was stuck watching another low-budget mess that could have been presented better if only some talent and creativity were involved in the process. The characters and dialogue were unbelievable, and my heaving sighs of great discontent failed to move the film along any faster. The psychological aspects of the characters' encounters bored me, and I felt myself drawn to meaningless minutiae to stay awake.

"You know," I say to the Significant Other, "She can't lay down in that tall crate, and that's the sort of thing they do to torture POW's in camps. He does care for her, and she would be in agony by now." Really. I read about these sorts of things. "And how come her makeup is still fresh? I look like a sewer rat if I haven't showered in two days, and she looks great. I wonder if it's the shampoo I'm using? Look at those jars, now that's kind of cool. You know, he'd be feeding her pizza and take-out; men like that really aren't into cooking."

Finally the movie crawls to a predictable end - "Oh, look what happened! Now, what are the odds of that? Hmmmm?" I am now trapped in a crate of my own, unable to justify the time and energy spent watching this movie. Sighhhhhh....




Jun 02, 2010 16:30:05

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